Be Valiant

Ep. 41 Episode 21 - Joel Votaw: From the Middle of the Field: What Youth Soccer Referees Wish Parents Knew

Host, Todd Merkow sits down with Joel Votaw, Arizona’s State Referee Administrator and a longtime youth sports parent, for a conversation from the perspective most families never hear: the middle of the field.

Joel shares what today’s referee landscape really looks like—why a huge percentage of officials are teenagers, what drives the ongoing referee shortage, and how sideline behavior (from parents and coaches) impacts not only the game, but the confidence and mental health of young officials. Together, Todd and Joel unpack the difference between passion vs. abuse, why tryout season creates so much stress for families, and what it takes to build a safer, more respectful environment where kids can simply play.

You’ll also hear Joel’s push to grow the pipeline of female referees, plus practical ideas for how parents can help—starting with one simple habit that goes further than most people realize.

If you’ve ever yelled “Call it both ways,” questioned a handball, or wondered what refs are thinking when the sidelines get heated—this episode is for you.

Topics covered:

- The reality of youth referees (and why so many are minors)

- Why officials quit—and what keeps them in the game

- Passion vs. abuse: where the line gets crossed

- How coach behavior fuels parent behavior (and vice versa)

- Building “Team Cool” culture on the sidelines

- Growing pathways for women in officiating

Share this episode with a coach, a team parent, or any family entering the soccer/travel sports world.

Be Valiant. Play Fearless.

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