Be Valiant

Ep. 37 Episode 19 - Crystalrae States: Development, Mental Health & Youth Softball

"This episode is a must-listen for softball parents (and yes—baseball parents too). Todd Merkow sits down with Crystalrae States, a former Division II catcher, longtime coach, and the founder/owner of Boilermaker Softball Clubin Pennsylvania—built with a clear mission: female-first development, led by high-quality coaches, and anchored in perspective, communication, and care.

Crystalrae shares her journey from athlete to educator to sports industry leader—working in facility management, national youth programming, and coaching at multiple levels, including as head softball coach at Holy Family University. She also brings fresh perspective as a sports parent just entering the youth sports grind, raising three young kids (ages 3, 5, and 7).

Together, Todd and Crystalrae unpack what too many families are fighting through right now:

- Why development beats “tournament chasing”—especially at 10U/12U/14U transitions

- The real challenge of finding quality coaches, and why female coaches are harder to retain (not for lack of talent—because life moves fast after college)

- How Boilermaker’s culture is built on relationships, long-term growth, and creating athletes who still call their coach years later for advice

- The red flags of overpromising college outcomes (“We can’t tell a 10U kid we’ll get them to Oklahoma…”)

- The narrowing window for multi-sport athletes, and how clubs can support cross-training without forcing early specialization

- A grounded approach to mental health: looking for patterns, getting to the root—not the symptom—and knowing when families should seek professional support

- Why sports culture at home matters—and how parents can follow the child’s path instead of projecting their own

- Parent-coach communication done right: clear boundaries, real conversations, and shared responsibility for the athlete’s experience

The conversation closes with rapid fire, laughs, and Crystalrae’s direct message to parents: these are kids—keep perspective, love watching them play, and don’t lose the joy.

Be Valiant. Play Fearless."